When you are introduced to someone, or when you go for a job interview, or when you are speaking in front of a group, do you feel nervous and tend to put your head down to avoid eye contact?
This is more common than you think. It is a fact that the first thing you notice about a person is their eyes, which can tell people a lot about us in just a few seconds – whether we are friendly, happy, nervous, sad, angry, arrogant, shy, tired, bored, etc.
I’d like to share with you, a simple, yet very effective technique I used for years, in my public speaking courses, to help participants overcome the Number 1 fear – speaking in front of an audience or doing face-to-face job interviews.
Each morning & afternoon of the 2-day course, I would get the participants to walk around the room, greeting each other with a friendly handshake and making eye contact, while making a brief comment to each other. When it was their turn to come out the front to give their presentation, I got them to imagine that they were giving everyone in the group an invisible handshake, as their eyes gazed around the group and they greeted their audience in a friendly confident voice. Such a simple process, but it worked wonders, especially with those who were quite nervous at the start about shaking hands and making eye contact.
Let me give you another example. Some years ago, I ran one-day workshops called ‘Bringing Out the Best in Yourself’ with some employment agencies, to help people looking for work, handle job interviews more confidently. This is part of a letter I received from Andrea E. a couple of weeks after she attended a workshop – “I just got a full-time position as a Case Manager. I have been to lots of Case Manager job interviews before, but was never successful. It’s the first interview I’ve been to since your course. I remembered to do everything you taught us for the interview. I shook everyone’s hand, smiled and made eye contact. So thanks again for everything.” I was so happy to hear Andrea’s outcome. And better still – 12 months later I received an email, saying her contract had been extended!
To enhance your communication with others, no matter what the situation, or how many people are involved, all it takes is the desire to practise for yourself, what I have just shared with you and notice how you can build greater rapport with others through more confident and friendly eye contact. Don’t wait – be the one to set the wheels in motion.
Cheers, Eva Bennett
